quinn222

I think I've been dealing rather well. On the surface anyway. I haven't fallen apart in any totally inappropriate places anyway. I haven't fallen apart in front of anyone actually. Had some moments when alone. I had to get gas yesterday and that involved driving by the hospital which was one of those hit you out of the blue moments. I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around things I think. If I tell someone or even think "My dad died.' it just doesn't feel real.

I've been online a lot in the last week and half, just not very visible. I see things I want to reply to but can't seem to gather the initiative to actually do it. Things of epic proportions have been happening in the Adam Lambert fandom and there have been things I've wanted to say about it, but again, can't get my brain working enough to articulate them in print.

Holiday party at work this week and next weekend at WDW. Don't want to do either but everyone is telling me it'll be good for me to do them so I guess I am. Oh and we have to decorate the house for Christmas. Which I also don't want to do but my mom wants it done so I'm doing it. Trying to keep everything 'normal' I guess. My dad died on my sister's birthday and my mom was totally focused on making sure there was a birthday cake (which of course no one ate.) [Oh, and I really had to force my evil self to not go into the whole birthday cake fail which is my family.]

This morning something happened with The Family that I don't want to discuss in a public space but it really pissed me off and upset me. I'm kind of hiding out in my room since anything I say right now is something I'm likely to regret later. I may post about that in a locked post just to vent.

I suspect this whole post is totally incoherent. Oh well.