quinn222

This was my entry to scrooged. The assignment was to write a story based on a Christmas movie, preferably It's A Wonderful Life. Well, my entry stated that I would not write angst and that is probably the single most angsty holiday film ever written. A quick consult with the mods revealed that any movie would do. So of course I chose my favourite one. A Christmas Story. Because I procrastinated on getting it done it got posted only half betaed. This is the final version after an excellent beta by rhiannonhero.


A Christmas Story
Takes place early to mid season two

________________________________________

“C’mon Brian”
“No.”
“It’s not that big a deal.”
“Oh yes, trust me on this: it’s a very big deal.”
“Why are you being so pigheaded about this?” Justin asked.
“I’m not being pigheaded, I’m being reasonable and either way the answer is still no. I’m not co-signing a loan so you can buy a car.” Brian insisted as he pulled on his coat and gathered up the things he’d need at the office that day.
“Why not? It would be so much more convenient if I had my own car.”
“Convenient for who? You? I suppose that’s true if you’re looking for a good way to kill yourself and others. Justin. You cannot drive. I don’t know where or how you managed to get a license but you are without a doubt the worst driver on the planet.”
“I’m not that bad. I’ve never even had an accident.”
“Because no one will let you drive their cars.”
“See why I need my own? Certain selfish people won’t let me borrow their cars so I need my own. What if I want to go where there’s no public transportation?”
“Yet another argument against. Your driving skill is matched only by your sense of direction. Not only would you kill yourself but you’d get lost first and we’d have to put your face on milk cartons to get the remains identified. The answer is no. You’d kill yourself.”

_______________________________

Justin mulled over his conversation with Brian as he walked to class. Most of the time he could work Brian around to his way of thinking but this time he wasn’t so sure. Brian seemed pretty adamant. It was the Christmas season though so who knew? Maybe he could use that to his advantage.
“May I have your attention please?” Professor Mulrain’s voice commanded their attention to where she stood in the center of their circle of easels. “Today we will be continuing our series of exercises in conveying emotion. Once again you are to produce a quick sketch, to be completed before the end of this class period. Today’s emotion is ‘desire.’ I want to see creativity here. I’m not talking about sexual desire. Convey desire without resorting to the trite and predictable. You may begin.
Justin immediately picked up his pencil. He worked steadily for the next two and half hours until Professor Mulrain called for them to stop working. When it was his turn to be critiqued he stood confidently beside his easel, certain he would receive a high mark.
“Technically this is very good Mr. Taylor. Tell me in what way this conveys desire?”
“It’s a car. I really want a car.”
“I see. A couple of things. To you, this conveys desire, because you know you want a car. But how does the viewer know that?”
“Well, it’s under a Christmas Tree.”
“A bit heavy handed Taylor." Professor Mulgrain touched his finger to his lips thoughtfully. "In addition, if I’m not mistaken wasn’t it you who ran over a fairly significant piece of sculpture outside Ralph Hall in a rental van some months ago?”
Justin couldn’t really see how his unfortunate incident while moving some pieces for exhibition had anything to do with his class assignment but he was forced to confess that yes, it had been him who had damaged the apparently prized but ugly hunk of steel.
“Perhaps you should rethink your desire for an automobile. You’d kill yourself.” Professor Mulrain scrawled a large ‘C’ on the corner of Justin’s sketch before moving on to a smirking Chloe Gonzagas.

_____________________________________


“You should think about a bicycle.” Ben said, sprawling back in a chair in Michael’s work room. “They’re much better for the environment.”
Justin scowled at him, thinking Michael’s new boyfriend might be hot but he just didn’t get it. “Hard to carry art supplies on a bike.”
“True,” Ben admitted, standing up and gathering his things to go, delivering his parting shot as he kissed Michael and swept out of the room, “But you’re much less likely to kill yourself on a bike.”
“Why does everyone think I’d kill myself if I had a car?” Justin asked Michael , perilously close to a whining.
“I don’t know Boy Wonder. Could it be because you don’t exactly have a stellar reputation behind the wheel. Didn’t you run your mother’s car into the garage door?”
“That wasn’t my fault. My foot slipped.”
“Oh. I see.” Michael’s agreement wasn’t overly convincing, accompanied as it was with an eye roll. “Guess that’s why she refused to co-sign a loan too?”
“Yeah.”
“Sucks to be you. Come on, let’s at least try and get JT out of the clutches of The Subway Monster.”


______________________________________


“Justin, what the fuck is this?”
“It’s a magazine.”
Brian glared at Justin’s ass, which was the only part of him currently visible as he rooted in the refrigerator for something to eat.
“I know it’s a magazine, what is Car and Driver doing on my pillow?”
“Well, you know it has those ads for Telson Tires in it. I thought you might want to see it.”
“I’ve seen those ads Justin. I wrote those ads. I’m not co-signing a loan for a car. We’ve gone over this.”
“Fine. I know. I can’t have a car. How about a Christmas tree?”

Apparently Brian was so relieved to be let off the hook for a car that he’d lost his mind. It was the only explanation Justin could come up with for the fact that they were currently wandering an outdoor tree lot in Pittsburgh in December looking for a Christmas Tree. Or maybe it was the fact that Brian had managed to get a nice little buzz going while he changed out of his work suit and into clothing suitable for Christmas Tree Shopping. Justin hadn’t been so sure that Armani Jeans, a Cavalli shirt, and a Zegna sweater were necessarily the typical choice for their chosen activity. He could see that his gay education was clearly lacking in the holiday traditions though when they got to the tree lot on Liberty and he discovered that it was more of a fashion parade than Babylon on Vogue Night. A number of patrons appeared to be doing Vanna White impersonations as they displayed trees to their partners. There was even a Santa there, though it turned out to be Emmett in a sparkly Santa outfit. Not surprisingly the children of Liberty Avenue were taking this version of Santa in stride and confiding their Christmas wishes into Emmett’s disco ball bedecked ear.
Brian wandered off and Justin hoped he wasn’t about to hear the outraged screech of some offended lesbian who’d managed to stumble across him getting his dick sucked by one of Santa’s elves. When Emmett spotted Justin, he untangled himself from the passel of kids, and headed his way, grabbing a soggy paper cup full of hot chocolate.
“I can’t believe you managed to talk Brian into getting a tree. I’ve never seen so much as a sprig of holly in the loft.” Emmett confided.
“I think I just caught him at the right moment. So what’s the hot present this year?”
“They all want something called a Tickle Elmo or something. Sounds like something you’d buy at the sex shop but none of the parents were blinking an eye so probably not.”
“It’s a Sesame Street thing.”
“Oh, that makes sense. Gayest show on earth.” Emmett leaned closer, his arm across Justin's shoulder, and teased, “What about your sweetie? What do you want Santa to bring you?”
“Something I know I’m not going to get.”
“You're too young to get married. Live a little!”
“Married? Are you insane? I don’t want to get married. I want a car.”
“A car? Oh honey, I think the question is are *you* insane? You’d kill yourself. You better go for the ring.” Was Emmett’s parting shot as a well satisfied looking elf dragged him back to his ‘throne’.

When Brian returned, high and whining about the lousy blow job the elf had provided, Justin decided that if there would be no car, then he'd at least avail himself of Brian's distraction and American Express card and purchased a fifteen foot tall blue spruce and arranged for it to be delivered to the loft the following day.
“You’re kind of tweaked Brian, maybe I should drive.”
Brian arched a brow and smirked, “I’m not that tweaked.” When they got to the jeep Brian looked around in bemusement, “Weren’t you going to buy a tree?”
“I didn’t want to scratch the roof of the jeep, they’ll deliver it tomorrow.” Justin didn’t mention that the tree he had purchased would never have fit either in or on Brian’s jeep.
“Oh, okay. Let’s go to Woody’s then since you won’t be pre-occupied with decking the halls this evening.”


_____________________________


“And the winner is…. Brian Kinney!”
Of course, Justin thought drunkenly. The winner was always Brian Kinney. It was probably a car. A car that Justin wouldn’t be allowed to drive. Though he didn’t recall anyone mentioning that a car was one of the prizes in Woody’s Jingle Balls Raffle. Emmett had won a cappuccino machine and that guy who had sucked Justin off at Babylon the week before had won free yoga lessons. Brian reached over Justin’s head and accepted the rather bulky looking box that the bartender handed him. It didn’t look like a car.
“I don’t think it’s a car.” Justin mumbled, relieved.
“A car?” Brian asked, dubiously eyeing the no more than four foot long box. “I think you need some fresh air Sunshine. Let’s go.”
By the time they returned to the loft a great deal of Justin’s buzz had worn off. Brian backed him against the loft door as soon as they were through it and growled in Justin’s ear, “That elf couldn’t suck cock to save his life.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“How about you show me how it should be done then?” Justin suggested.
Brian huffed out a laugh and dragged Justin up to the bed, “How about if I do?”
Afterwards, Justin sprawled in mind numbing contentment “Jesus. You really are good at that.”
“Was there any doubt?” Brian asked, rising to get a bottle of water from the kitchen.
“So what did you win anyway?” Justin asked, following him and spotting the box where it had been abandoned near the door.
“I don’t know, let’s see.”
Brian unearthed a Phillipe Starck letter opener and broke the seal on the carton. He rifled through the paper and lifted out an object about three feet tall with a cord dangling from it.
“What the hell is that?” Justin asked.
“It’s a…a…really big vibrating dildo?” Brian suggested
“It’s ugly is what it is.” Justin said, leaning forward for a closer look at what was undeniably a three foot tall phallus.
“Let’s plug it in and see what it does.” Brian said, suddenly displaying a childlike enthusiasm for his prize.
“Are you sure you want to?” Justin asked. But it was far too late for caution. Brian had already moved the bar cart slightly to expose the power socket behind it. He placed the object on the window sill and plugged it in. To Justin’s relief nothing happened.
“Well it must do something or it wouldn’t have a plug.” Brian asserted. He crouched down and peered at the base of it. “I see it, it has a switch.” A flick of an elegant finger revealed the thing in all of its hideous glory.
“It’s a lamp!” they exclaimed in unison.
“It’s kind of…” Justin trailed off, speechless.
“It’s perfect.” Brian breathed out, gazing at it in wonder.
Justin was stunned. Brian invariably displayed exquisite taste. How on earth could he possibly like this huge, hideous, glowing thing.
“But…it’s…”
“Perfect.” Brian repeated. He moved the thing slightly so that it was centered in the window.
“Maybe it shouldn’t be in the window there Brian.”
“Are you kidding? It’s the ultimate antidote to all those sweet little white candles.”
Suddenly Brian’s affection for the glowing cock became a great deal more understandable to Justin. For Brian it was the perfect anti-Christmas decoration.
To Justin’s dismay they fell asleep to the soft glow of the world’s tackiest lamp. He hadn’t been able to convince Brian to turn it off.


The next morning was Christmas Eve and Justin was looking forward to decorating his Christmas tree. As soon as it was delivered he’d gone out and bought lights and ornaments. He used some of the money he’d set aside for a down payment on a car. It was looking as though that wasn’t going to happen any time soon anyway. The tree was so tall he’d had to borrow a ladder from the building super to decorate the top of it. It was worth it though. When it was finished and he plugged it in it looked beautiful. There weren’t a lot of ornaments but the ones he had looked tasteful and elegant. The only thing that marred it was that horrible lamp. Even Brian had told him it looked nice, though his opinion was now suspect, given his affection for The Lamp. Justin had begun thinking of it in terms of capitol letters.
That evening as they returned from Debbie’s house (where they’d had an Italian feast for Christmas Eve dinner) Justin looked up and winced. The Lamp was glowing in all its lurid glory in full view centered in the window. Brian had insisted on turning it on when they’d left. Even now he’d stopped to admire it from the sidewalk. Justin hoped none of their neighbors would walk by.
“Looks great doesn’t it?” Brian asked.
“It’s certainly something.” Justin agreed, dragging Brian inside.
“Pour me a drink Sunshine; I want to get out of this sweater. It was a hundred fucking degrees at Debbie's tonight.”
“I think she had her oven going all day.” Justin called from the living room.
And that’s when it happened. Brian and Justin would debate what really occurred in that moment for years to come but the bottom line was that The Lamp landed under the window sill with a crash that shattered it into several pieces.
“What was that?” Brian called sharply, bounding out of the bedroom and skidding to a halt where Justin stood, bottle in one hand, staring down at the remains.
“You broke my lamp.” Brian said incredulously.
“It was an accident. I was reaching for the Chivas and must have bumped the cart.”
“You hated The Lamp.” Brian said accusingly.
“No! Well, yes, I did hate it but it was an accident.”
Brian absently took the bottle from Justin’s hand and took a swig. “I think I have some super glue.” Justin prayed that he didn’t.
He did. But even so The Lamp refused to be repaired. Each attempt merely resulted in a more and more pathetic version until it looked like it was suffering from both a hideous venereal disease and erectile dysfunction. Brian was forced to concede defeat. “I give up.”
“I’m sorry Brian. It really was an accident.” Brian didn’t really look convinced but he gave Justin an affectionate kiss anyway.
“Let’s get the Christmas presents and go to bed.”
“The presents are under the tree.” Justin reminded him, referring to the few festively wrapped packages they’d brought home from Debbie’s.
“No, the rest of the presents.”
“What presents?” Justin asked, following Brian out into the hall.
“These.” Brian said, opening the storage closet to reveal a substantial pile of packages.
“Where did they come from?”
“I don’t know, your mom I guess. My mom, which is frightening, friends, clients, whenever a package came I just tossed them in here.”
They dragged out all the presents and piled them under the tree. It took a lot of presents to make a showing under a fifteen foot tall tree but Justin thought it looked great and was happily anticipating gift opening in the morning. He wanted to wait until Brian was asleep before he put his presents under the tree but that took a while, what with a shared shower and all the activity that went with that, followed by a second round once they got to bed. Eventually the soft, even rise and fall of Brian’s chest told Justin that he was asleep and he managed to slip out of bed and add a few items to the pile before returning to snuggle up against Brian to fall asleep.
Morning brought with it the scent of coffee and that strange silence and glowing light that announced a fresh snowfall without even looking out the window. Justin spared a grateful thought for timer driven coffee makers and gave Brian a shove.
“Wake up! It’s Christmas and it snowed.”
Brian’s tousled hair emerged from under the duvet, followed by heavy eyes and sleep puffed cheeks.
“It’s the middle of the night.”
“No it isn’t. The coffee pot went off so it’s after seven.”
“That’s the middle of the night on holidays.”
“Not on Christmas.” Justin asserted, climbing over Brian to head for the bathroom. He was sure that Brian would go back to sleep so he was startled when the door slid open a few minutes later and Brian joined him in the shower.
“What’s the matter?” Brian asked him.
“Nothing, I’m fine.” Justin said, cursing the fact that his face hid no emotion.
“Want to try another answer?”
“Just feels a little weird not being home for Christmas. But then, no one in my family is home for Christmas. What with mom and Molly in the condo and my dad in his new bachelor pad.”
“Your mom will be at Debbie’s today.”
“I know and it’s fine. We’re going to have a great day. Vic even gave me his French toast recipe. I’ve got the bread soaking in the refrigerator already. I’ll just stick it in the oven and it’ll be ready when we’re finished opening presents. Speaking of which…”
“Go on. I’ll get the coffee.”
Justin’s mother had apparently been determined that he should have a nice Christmas as far as presents went at the very least. There were numerous items from her, including clothes and DVDs and even a generous gift certificate to the college bookstore, which was going to come in very handy for the spring semester. Debbie, unfortunately had dragged out her sewing machine. Justin wasn’t entirely certain what she had created with it though. It seemed to be a pair of long underwear pants with slipper socks sewn onto them. And a matching hoodie. All in a strange sort of rose color.
Brian was howling with laughter at the sight of Justin standing there holding up the two pieces dubiously, “What the fuck are they Brian?”
“She made you footie pajamas! They look just like the ones Gus has only his are a better color.”
“Oh my God. What was she thinking?”
“That’s what you get for complaining that the loft is too cold.”
“Well, I’ll just thank her nicely and pretend I never saw them.”
“You have to try them on.”
“Oh no way!”
“Come on, put ‘em on.” Brian wheedled.
“You just want to laugh at me some more.”
“No shit. Come on.” Brian wrested him to the sofa and tugged off his flannel pajama bottoms.
“I’ll do it! Leave me alone!” Justin grabbed the pajamas and headed for the privacy of the bathroom. “If I’m going to be humiliated I’m doing it in private.”
“You have to show me.”
“You’re enjoying this way too much.” Justin grumbled.
The reality was even more frightening that Justin had imagined. ‘No way. I am not going out there in these,' he thought.
“Justin! Come out or I’m coming in.”
“No!”
“Oh come on. We’ll have a laugh and then you can take them off.”
“Easy for you to say, you’re not wearing them.”
Justin slid open the bathroom door and walked to the living room. Brian stared at him in stunned silence for a moment. “You look like a demented Easter Bunny. Turn around.”
“No.”
Brian twirled his finger, “Come on, turn around.”
Justin slowly turned in a circle.
“Wait, do that again but stop halfway around.”
Justin rolled his eyes but complied.
“Oh. My. God.”
“What?” asked Justin trying to see his back over his shoulder, “What?”
“They have a drop seat.”
“They do not!”
“Oh yes. They do.” Brian said. Reaching out and proving it. And then he showed Justin the advantage of such a feature.
“Maybe I won’t throw them out after all.” Justin said half an hour later. “I can probably take the socks off and maybe I can dye them a different color.” He was feeling far more charitable towards them now.
“Want breakfast?” He asked, rising to his feet.
“Sounds good.” Brian pulled on his robe and trailed after Justin to the kitchen.
“Takes a half an hour.” Justin told him, sliding the pan into the oven.
“Just enough time for one more present. Put some clothes on.” Brian told him, heading up to grab a pair of jeans and a sweater.
“What is it?” Justin asked, following him back over to the tree.
Brian handed him a tiny box that had been stuck in the branches.
Justin tore open the wrapping in opened the box.
“Oh. Brian.” He hardly dared believe what he was seeing. It was a key. A car key. It had a distinctive ‘H’ on it. A Honda. Brian had bought him a car?
“Come on, get your shoes.” Justin flung himself into Brian’s arms and showered his face with kisses.
“Thank you!! Oh my God I can’t believe it! Thank you!”
“You’re welcome. I had to stop your whining somehow.”
Justin just grinned, tugging on his sneakers and not even noticing they were on the wrong feet.
They took the elevator down to the parking area below the loft. The jeep was in its usual spot but Justin didn’t see a Honda. It must be in the guest space. He started to turn that way but Brian dragged him over to the Jeep. It was only then that Justin noticed the vehicle next to the jeep had the same logo as his key.
“Oh my God. Is that for me?”
“Who else?”
“It’s…it’s….it’s a…”
“Hummer. I know. You may kill others but you won’t kill yourself in this.”
It took Brian another five minutes to extricate himself from Justin’s embrace.
“Go on, take it for a spin.”
Justin wasted no time reaching for the door, but then stopped, dismayed. “The french toast is in the oven, I have to go get it first.”
“Go on. I’ll get the french toast.”
“Don’t you want to come with me?”
Brian didn’t look too upset at missing a ride with Justin behind the wheel. “Next time, go on. Be careful though.”
“I will, I promise!”

Six measly inches of snow were no challenge for Justin’s new vehicle. He felt like the king of the road as he drove around the neighborhood. It was awfully big though. He decided to give parking it a try while he was alone without anyone else in the truck to make him nervous. It handled perfectly though and he was able to parallel park it with ease. He snorted to himself. ‘So much for me being a bad driver. I bet Brian couldn’t have parked this thing as smoothly as I did.’
Getting out however proved a bit more difficult than getting in and to Justin’s horror he heard the sickening crunch of metal as he tried to maneuver out of the space. He hadn’t felt any impact but given the size of the Hummer that was probably normal. He climbed out and walked gingerly to see what was behind him. At first he wasn’t able to identify the crushed metal object on the sidewalk but then the distinctive blue color gave it away. It was a post office mail box. He’d crushed a mailbox like a pancake. He was pretty sure that was a federal offense or something. Not a soul was on the street though and this was an area of stores that were all closed for the holiday. A quick look at his car showed not even a scratch so he hustled himself back into the driver’s seat and back to the loft, where he parked in visitors parking, taking up three spaces.
“How was it?” Brian asked with a smile when he slid open the loft door.
“It’s the perfect car for me Brian.”