I just went into the living room and my dad was sitting there smoking with the oxygen on. He nearly killed us all and halfway burned down the house but apparently he didn't learn anything from it.
Does he truly understand the seriousness of the matter? I know with my mom, sometimes (often) it's like dealing with a child... she just truly can't understand, her mind can't work on that level anymore. Not her fault, but frustrating for us kids.
You may want to talk to your family and consider taking some kind of action -- whether that's appointing someone to hold onto his cigarettes so that he can only smoke outside and when that person is present (which will make that person -- probably you -- the Bad Guy that he resents)... or getting home care if you can afford/have insurance for that... or moving him to a facility where people can monitor him for you.
I feel for you, hon. I know we're not buddies or anything, but if you need to talk, I'm here.
The last time my Great Aunt was in the hospital she would drag her IV and oxygen into the hall and bum cigarettes. The doctor told her she was going to blow up the hospital. She said that she hadn't heard a BOOM. He then ask her if she would rather breath or smoke and she said smoke. So he removed the oxygen. He was a smart man.
*hug*
Has your father got dementia? If so, no matter how mild, he'll never be able to understand the problem. And if he is anything like my Great Aunt was he'd rather smoke than breath.
However, at this point it isn't just HIS life, but yours and everyone in the house. That fact that the smoke from the fire probably hasn't even cleared yet says that he's not thinking clearly.
With my own father it became no longer an option to let him harm himself and others. It's a bitch of a choice.
It is doubtful anything will make an impact now if the fire hasn't. Maybe he could compromise and smoke outside, or his doctor could explain the pointlessness of having oxygen to breath and destroying that by smoking.
Oh, man. That totally sucks. And it's gone beyond personally harmful behavior to now having confirmation of how at risk he and everyone is from this behavior.
I saw a woman with a little tote-around oxy cannister at the store and thought about your dad. Actually, I wondered if he was dealing ok with all the guilt he must be feeling over the fire...
I know you're at work every day. Such difficult choices.
Oh dear. I can empathize completely. My Dad died last year from a heart attack directly related to his diabetes. He was a very intelligent man, but at 85 he could no longer comprehend the consequences of his actions. No matter how you explained it to him, he could not accept that eating sugar laden foods was dangerous. It isn't a matter of just being stubborn; some elderly people just reach the point where cause and effect mean nothing. Sadly, it sounds like someone else may have to make the decision for him. Injuring himself is one thing; putting others at risk is something else.
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I think an intervention is in order.
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I feel for you.....
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Oh, Quinn.
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You may want to talk to your family and consider taking some kind of action -- whether that's appointing someone to hold onto his cigarettes so that he can only smoke outside and when that person is present (which will make that person -- probably you -- the Bad Guy that he resents)... or getting home care if you can afford/have insurance for that... or moving him to a facility where people can monitor him for you.
I feel for you, hon. I know we're not buddies or anything, but if you need to talk, I'm here.
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*hug*
Has your father got dementia? If so, no matter how mild, he'll never be able to understand the problem. And if he is anything like my Great Aunt was he'd rather smoke than breath.
My thoughts are with you.
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However, at this point it isn't just HIS life, but
yours and everyone in the house. That fact that the
smoke from the fire probably hasn't even cleared yet
says that he's not thinking clearly.
With my own father it became no longer an option
to let him harm himself and others. It's a bitch
of a choice.
(no subject)
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I saw a woman with a little tote-around oxy cannister at the store and thought about your dad. Actually, I wondered if he was dealing ok with all the guilt he must be feeling over the fire...
I know you're at work every day. Such difficult choices.
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C//